I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
