absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You're a waste of cheezeits
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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