I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
