your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
