; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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