Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
