I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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