You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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