im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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