you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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