Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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