i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm really busy with my period
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