All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just gargled with NyQuil
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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