Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Dear god my vagina.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
