I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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