bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
