I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
