like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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