i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
