Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
