Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So much rum. So many feels.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
