no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
