I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
