This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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