the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.