i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
