Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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