I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
