This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
