I can text with my tongue
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
