Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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