Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
