She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize
