Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
They have beer where we have blood.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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