I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
honey bunches of taint.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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