Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Dear god my vagina.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
