Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
