And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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