arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
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