Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
