toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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