Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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