somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
