Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
