U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
