omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
