Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
