The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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