Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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