Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
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I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
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My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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