hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
do herpes really smell.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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