I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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