so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Randomize
