but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
