JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
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you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
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Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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