The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
