Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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