Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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