oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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