My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
